There are plenty of people in this world who believe that pessimism, as a belief system, is the way to go. Their thought is that if one always expects the worst from everything, there’s no way to be unpleasantly surprised. Though this may be true, the way of the pessimist also means that you cannot have positive expectations from anything, or from anyone. I imagine that a pessimist always lives in a sense of fear, or hatred, or depression, caused by the way it is that they look at the world. The definition of pessimism is the tendency to see only bad or undesirable outcomes, the doctrine that the world is the worst possible of worlds and that everything tends toward wickedness, the belief that even goodness and happiness cannot compensate for all the evil and pain out there. This leaves the true pessimist with no room for joy, no room for hope, no room for goodness: a kind of “Eeyore complex,” as I like to think of it.
This doctrine, this radiation of negativity, this “Eeyore complex,” is such a downer, in my eyes. How can you expect me to see bad in everything, when there is so much good to be found? The glass, after all, is neither half-full nor half-empty; in the end, it is all-full: half-full of air, half-full of water (or whatever liquid happens to be residing in the glass). Most people tend to forget that air is matter, too, and not just empty space, just as they forget that there is always good in something, and not simply bad. No matter what the event is, no matter who the person is, there is always some good in it, somewhere. Any occurrence, given enough time, can grow into something good.
Yes, there is pain and suffering in this world, and much of it, but there has not been a case yet that I have seen no good come from. Even in situations of uttermost misery, there is gain in the personal growth that occurs, and in the knowledge of just how strong a person can be under strain. In the cases of people giving up, harming themselves, or even ending their own lives, it is my belief that these people were not able to see the good things there were to see for whatever reason. When the mind is clear, and brain chemistry is as it should be, there is absolutely no reason not to see the goodness, light, and joy that there is to be seen in this world.
I was once a pessimist, so I know just how it can feel. I never thought that anything positive would come to me, and always saw the bad things in anyone I wasn’t already friends with. I had a negative attitude about nearly everything I came across, and was overly wary of every situation I was put into. My trust levels were very low, and I had very little faith in humanity. I was miserable. I didn’t feel at home anywhere, I didn’t feel as though there was any love anywhere, because I didn’t feel there was anything in myself to love. The world was a bad and a scary place, and I had to live in it. It was as though I was trapped in the confines of a pitch-black room, blind to everything around me, eyes clamped tightly shut to block out the monsters. The only things I could feel were coldness, harshness, and emotional strain. I sat in my cold corner, arms wrapped tightly around my legs, bracing myself against the wickedness. All it seemed I needed, though, was for someone to simply turn on the light and get me to open my eyes.
I don’t quite know what it was, or who it was, that finally pushed me to see things differently. The realization that there were far more important things to be worrying about than my own negativity, though, certainly played a part. My friends were going through far rougher patches in their lives than I ever had, and there I was, brooding and complaining about my own life, oblivious to the fact that they needed someone to be their rock in an ocean of uncertainty, fear, sadness, and doubt. A wave of emotions washed over me, made of shame and remorse, telling me that something had to change. How could I help save them if I couldn’t even save myself? How was I supposed to show them the light and the goodness in themselves and the love that surrounded them if even I couldn’t even open my eyes to try to see it? Something in me turned on the light-switch in that dark room and stoked the dying fire in the hearth, telling me that it was all right to see, that the monsters in the dark had gone, that I was safe, warm, and at home, that I was needed elsewhere. I took a deep breath, and I opened my eyes.
Instantly I was filled with the warmth of that hearth-fire in myself, astounded by the brightness and goodness I was able to see. I saw the beauty in the laughter of my friends and in the hearts of all the people I met. I could see the suffering and the pain that lived in all of my loved ones and all the stress that they were going through from day to day, but I could also see the goodness, the strength, the happiness that their troubles would one day bring them. I knew that if they took the experiences and shaped the way that they changed because of them, they would turn out better at the end. If they let their experiences change them without any of their own input, there was no telling what sorts of negativity and bitterness would form around them, but if they took control, they could learn from their troubles and grow.
My positive attitude was a gift that I knew I was meant to have, and was meant to share with those who suffered. I became the rock that my friends so needed. So long as I kept myself above the water and solidly rooted to the ground, I could withstand any ocean they brought to me. If I could see the good in myself and the good in others, I could do my best to convince others that it was there; they just had to gain the courage to look. The hearth within me warmed my heart and kept them from freezing. I gave them my knowledge as it grew, telling them, “Look there. Look at all the good there is to see. Look at the beauty of even the cloudiest of days, and look at how the sun still shines behind the clouds, even if we can’t see it there right now. The sun is always there, even after the longest night, even past the darkest of storm-clouds. It will never stop rising, we just need to have the strength to wait out the storm, and keep things as well as we can in the mean time.”
I have become a much better person, in my eyes, since committing to optimism and positivity. I’ve learned to trust, and learned that not everyone in the world will hurt you if they get the chance. I’ve learned to love more deeply and more openly than I ever have before. Love comes in many types, many shapes, and many sizes, and all are welcome. Not to love your friends seems to me like doing them a disservice; they are there for you through thick and thin. You play together, laugh together, suffer together, and cry together. If you don’t feel that you love a person even after all of that, you have a colder heart than I could have imagined. I have learned to appreciate the little things for their untouched beauty and their simplicity. I have learned to open up to all the options and to broaden my mind to all opinions and beliefs. I have learned that there is no inborn tendency for evil, that “evil” people are nurtured to be the way that they are, and that doing bad things doesn’t make a person heartless.
It is my opinion that where there is strength, where there is knowledge, and where there is love, there is always a way to see all the good out there to be found. Every aspect of a person’s life is a chance to do something good or to find something positive. There is beauty in everything; we just have to look for it. When they say “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” we just need to make the realization that we are the beholder; it is up to us what is beautiful. It is up to us where the goodness is. It is up to us to decide to open our eyes and to see the goodness in everything.
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