On Zora Neale Hurston's "How It Feels To Be Colored Me"

My very first thought upon reading this passage is to ask – “All right, now who am I?”

Hurston is, at different times, “Zora of Orange County” and “Cosmic Zora,” though she speaks specifically on the subject of being colored. She becomes a tribal dancer listening to jazz orchestras, and later becomes “the eternal feminine with its string of beads.” But, what am I? Who am I, and how can I find out?

I start from the beginning, building upward from the ground, brick by brick. At the foundation of the building that is me, I am a young woman. I am a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter. I am a friend. But what else is there? I continue to build upwards; I start with the vague things, the general things, the ordinary things. I am Caucasian, I’m 5’3” tall, I am nineteen years old, and I have blue eyes. I have four sisters, and two parents still married to one another. I am a student, and am a sophomore in college.

All these things are common, and do not all together make up the being that is me. I dig deeper into myself, searching for the bricks to lay down upon the foundation I have already set. What else am I? I’m an actress, and I’m a writer. I’m a Christian (Episcopalian, specifically) but I am very open-minded. I’m a nerd, a geek, a sci-fi/fantasy enthusiast, and an avid reader. I work as a summer camp counselor and I love my job. I’m the biggest mother hen that I know. I aspire to be a teacher, an author, and a community theatre director. These are the things that are plain to see about me, but I know that there’s a level to myself that’s deeper than that.

I cry at many things, and laugh at a hundred things more. I play Dungeons and Dragons, and have been for five years. I’m the oldest of five girls, and part of a very large extended family. I’m very loud, and I love to sing, much to the disappointment of many of my friends. I live by my emotions, and the instincts that they give me. I laugh with my whole self, and love the healthy, happy feeling I get when organic laughter overtakes me. I love with all my heart, and somehow still leave space for more love to form.

I don’t really care what others think about me. I live by the words of wisdom that I’ve accumulated over the years. Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter, don’t mind – Dr. Seuss. Love many, trust few, do wrong to no one – William Shakespeare. Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a great deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give – Eleanor Roosevelt.

Now, there are also parts of me that live within my imagination, solid parts of myself though they are, as Cosmic Zora is to Hurston. I am an earthly creature, running barefoot through a warm, primal forest. I am a lady knight, valiantly guarding the kingdom I've sworn to protect. I am a naiad, dancing to the music of the thunderstorm rolling through the sky above me. I am a bird, my wings surging as I soar through the air, oblivious to the troubles of the lives going on below me. I am myself, and I am complete.